Wrong turn...uh oh...Struggle Street...

I started writing a post last night and deleted it cos it was so negative (I am talking MAJOR whinging). Actually there is a chance that this will turn into a very whiney sounding post (sorry guys but need to vent) so if you don't wanna hear it...close this tab now!

Not sure what's going on with me lately but somewhere along the road I have taken a wrong turn and yesterday I ended up on Struggle Street. Now for those of you who have never had the pleasure of being on Struggle Street, it is like a very narrow laneway, and the further you go the harder it gets to turn around and come back. So you kinda plod along it for a while hoping that it will end soon, and there will be a blazing light at the end of it.

I can't quite pinpoint where my first wrong turn was but of late the feeling that I am treading water has been increasing. Yesterday I really struggled with it and noticed it affecting my training. Weights were good but I struggled with my 40min post weights cardio session (spent 10mins on stepper then got off and did bike but had to keep telling myself 'just another 5 mins' and when I got there would talk myself into another 5 mins so I could hear the rest of the song on my iPod). I was supposed to get my second cardio session in before starting work at 1pm as wasn't finishing til 9pm and don't like leaving it til that late to do it, but because I spent most of my morning all teary (emotional wreck ATM!) I didn't get it done. By the time I finished work last night all I wanted to do was go home, eat my bloody egg whites and crash. And that I very nearly did. But then I remembered the extra nuts I had eaten during my shift and thought "would the other girls be going home to bed, or would they do their 2nd cardio session?" and with that I hauled my ass (literally hauled it...believe me it didn't want to be hauled anywhere except the couch) to my parents' place to use their x-trainer. Which I also struggled to stay on for 35 mins. Should have done 40 but I am telling you, it was a bloody lucky thing that I managed more than 15 mins worth!! In the end I was glad I did it so I didn't have a case of the guilts. Then my poor mum had to listen to Vicki the Emotional Train Wreck over a cup of post-cardio lemon and ginger tea (never tried that stuff before, it's not too bad on the old taste buds either!) as I got all teary about (?!?!?!) AGAIN.

Was hoping for a sleep in today (being Friday, the day off) as I have not had a decent night's sleep in, well I can't even remember how long...weeks? months? But my dogs had other plans for me today. So up at 6am, despite having gone to bed at about 12.30am. Oh well maybe a nanna nap is on the cards later. Gotta get my head together and take myself to the gym, it's back day today...then spend some time with the stepper. Boxing tonight for 2nd cardio so at least that will get me through a whole hour of it.

On that note I will love you and leave you. Sorry again about the downer of a post...but hey I did warn you!! Hopefully next one I will have found my way back off Struggle Street and will have found that bright light at the end of it!

Vic x